Being with pain (part II)
In part I of this blog, I left you to explore this provoking statement:
“There is no experience that is not improved by directly experiencing it -we can never improve an experience in the long-term by trying to avoid it”
How did you go? Perhaps in order to explore this you need a little guidance?
When we move out of the story of our lives and into the actual lived experience of it, we feel better. Here in part II we will look at the practical side of how we are to Be with uncomfortable bodily sensations or feelings. Rather than being ‘beside myself in pain’, our effort in mindfulness training is geared to ‘come to our senses’.
Here are some tips to use when encountering strong feelings or sensations in order to help you come into direct contact with them:
Drop the language of ‘pain’. We often describe our discomfort in terms of damage to the body, such as ‘a splitting head ache’ or ‘stabbing pain’. These metaphors are unhelpful as they reinforce a message of danger and the need to protect*
Let’s even drop the word ‘pain’ itself, as this can cause distress and immediate aversion, leading to tension in the body which ultimately feeds into more discomfort. Instead, let’s try naming it for the sensation(s) that are present at the time, such as pressure, warmth, numbness, constriction etc
In fact, see if we can experiment with not naming it all! If thoughts arise, wanting to categorise, analyse, compare and contrast the sensations, notice this for what it is.. simply the mind thinking
Breathe into and out from the areas of discomfort. In this way we use the breath as a vehicle for our attention to travel to these body areas, offering support to Be with them. Breathing in through the nose, into the chest and towards the sensations, touching them with the in-breath and then leaving the area of the body the reverse way, through the chest, out of the nostrils. Continue practicing like this, following the breath and being with the sensations briefly before letting them go with the out-breath
Breathe with the strong sensations. Our primary object of attention rests on the sensations in the body while the breath remains in the background as a secondary meditation object, supporting us in Being with the sensations, one breath at a time
So how do we ‘Be with these strong sensations’, whether the breath is in the background or the foreground? Follow this guidance:
Exploring the sensations directly with curiosity and interest. Experimenting with leaning in towards them, grounding attention directly in the sensations, as best you can. Resting attention to monitor the potential changes that may take place in four fundamental elemental characteristics: mass (where do the sensations start and end? Do I feel them in my finger tips for example), temperature (heat or cool), movement (tingling, pulsing), and fluidity/cohesiveness (lightness or weight)
As best you can tendering and holding these sensations in your awareness as if holding a new born baby. In this way, offering adequate support and dedication to hold the sensations, with enough softness and tenderness and even-mindedness, in order to prevent an aversion response. Said in a different way -as best we can, becoming a container to hold these sensations within the wider picture of our experience in this moment, and the next, and the next...
Bring attitudes of curiosity and a beginners mind, as if you’ve never before experienced these sensations before
Grading your exposure. During this novel exploration of unwanted body sensations, you may find that holding your awareness for just a brief time is long enough, just ‘dipping your toe in’ so to speak. Start here. Explore the sensations for just one breath cycle, or just one in-breath, coming back to the anchor of the breath through choice, rather than avoidance. And when you feel ready again, going back in, this time, perhaps for a little longer.
From time to time, you may like to experiment with affirming your practice through words such as “it’s already here, let me open to it” or “I am safe just as I am”, or “breathing in I feel these sensations, breathing out I feel these sensations”.
Importantly, watch for the mind wanting to steal attention upwards into thinking about the sensations. This way of distracting from the discomfort has been your way to-date of coping with the pain. But remember, this way hasn’t worked for you, or else you wouldn’t be here learning something new.
You have not failed if you notice that attention has been repeatedly hijacked by thoughts. Thoughts about how unpleasant the sensations are; about what these sensations mean for the future me; about wanting our experience to be different… These thoughts are compelling and are well worn habits of mind!
This noticing is exactly what mindfulness practice is, and there is much to learn about these rabbit holes we disappear down. For example we may notice repetitive thoughts, or a particular tone of our thoughts. Do these thoughts lead to vitality, opening, feelings of safety? Or do they lead to suffering, constriction? What happens to the body sensations when we catch ourselves going down a thought stream about the discomfort? By contrast, what happens when we anchor ourselves back into the body, into the breath, into these sensations, our direct experience of them, just as they are? Giving deep permission for them to just be there.. even for one half breath.
“The only way to ease our pain is to experience it fully. Learn to stay. Learn to stay with uneasiness, learn to stay with the tightening, so that the habitual chain reaction doesn’t continue to rule our lives, and the patterns that we consider unhelpful don’t keep getting stronger as the days, months and the years go by” - Pema Chödrön
The key is to be wiling to make room for your suffering, to welcome it, observe it without trying to change it. To befriend it intentionally, to invite it to be felt. After all, it is already here. Brave work indeed! I am reminded about a quote that I hold dear:
“...and the day came when the risk to remain tight inside the bud, was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Please note, using these approaches to alter our relationship to pain cannot replace proper evaluation and treatment. I recommend that anyone experiencing persistent pain consult with an appropriate pain management clinician for a comprehensive evaluation.
*The last decade in pain science research has shown us that ongoing pain states are less related to the state of the tissues, instead the ‘fault’ lies with the pain system itself which can be thought of as an over-adapted alarm system alerting you to a fire in the building when in fact, there is just a piece of burned toast. We can unconsciously feed this over-adaptive threat detection system by using alarming language.
Bibliography:
Zeidan, F., Gordon, N. S., Merchant, J., Goolkasian, P. (2010). The effects of brief mindfulness meditation training on experimentally induced pain. Journal of Pain, March, 11(2): 199-209. doi: 10.1016/j.jpain.2009.07.015
Cayoun, B., Simmons, A., Shires, A. (2017). Immediate and Lasting Chronic Pain Reduction Following a Brief Self-Implemented Mindfulness-Based Interoceptive Exposure Task: a Pilot Study. Mindfulness, published online October 3. DOI 10.1007/s12671-017-0823-x